THE CROSS AND SHAME!

‘When I was in the midst of addiction (and all that entails), a Christian told me that Christ had died for my sins. That made me feel worse as it felt like I was so awful I had forced Jesus to die.’

A lady fleeing an abusive relationship, has been repeatedly told it was her fault she was beaten. She walks into church and hears liturgy focusing on her sins. This reinforces the message that the abuse she suffered was her fault.

I recognise these statements will make some feel uncomfortable, but I’d encourage you to stay with it – they are real peoples experience of the Christian message.

This is about the difference between guilt and shame.

Rebecca Winfreys book is absolutely NOT saying that substitutionary atonement is anyway wrong.

Her book is an ‘and also’ rather than ‘instead of.’

The starting point of Rebecca’s argument is the belief that a) shame is an emotion poorly understood b) we need to work out what Good News into shame means….and yes, if we are not careful we might inadvertently cause psychological harm which, of course, is bad news.

Guilt & Shame:

The theology of guilt is quite an easy mechanism to understand: I hit my brother. My mum tells me off. I say sorry. I’m forgiven. It’s kind of the same with God. Shame is altogether more complicated.

Guilt says: ‘I did a bad thing’. Someone who is ashamed says ‘I am a bad person.’

Guilt sees their acts as separate from themselves, shame makes someone’s whole self feel inadequate.

Considering the bleeding woman might help (Mark 5): It was not her fault she had suffered this ailment for so long. It was not, in itself, a sin yet she would have suffered great shame. Analyse Jesus exchange with her and he did not say: ‘Your sins are forgiven’ as he had done just a few chapters before. Instead he tried to encourage her sense of worth: ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you.’

‘Jesus did not start his relationships with people of low status by challenging them about their sin,’ argues Rebecca. Pge 16

So what? Why does this matter?

The book posits that the prevalent psychology now experienced in 21st century is less a sense of sin and more one of shame. We are moving out of the Victorian culture of guilt:

‘40% of yr 10s have felt bullied….28% of women 16-59 have experience some form of domestic abuse, 42% of marriages end in divorce,’ (to quote a few of her stats). Bullying, abuse, divorce leads to an experience of shame. Social media and counting our ‘likes’ has rapidly built a culture where we can be honoured or very quickly shamed by our peers. #Metoo continues to highlight just how many women have experienced shame through abuse and sexual violence.

Does the Bible say anything about Shame?

We’ve interpreted the Bible through the lens of sin (quite rightly) but in the process glossed over the strong threads of shame. From Adam and Eve (‘who knew no shame’[i]), to the Passover (a pre-eminent Jewish celebration and the context in which Jesus died) was a ‘celebration of God releasing his people from the shame of slavery.’ (It wasn’t a sin to be a slave). So, much of the Jewish culture would have been an honour, shame one. Almost all the listeners of Jesus would have viewed his stories that way: the shamed prodigal and his shamed father, the shame of suffering disease, the shame of adultery and divorce (to name a few). Paul writes that Jesus had brought believers out of shame into ‘freedom and glory of the children of God.’ Romans 8,21 (and much more covered in the book).

And so onto the cross

Communication is about how someone hears you. Rebecca explains how certain presentations (and the most common presentations) of the cross might be ‘interpreted’ by someone whose predominant emotion is one of shame. (NB no where does she argue against those interpretations but she does say discussion of sin , might be better later on in their journey.)

‘The emotional response to the way God the Father appears to have treated his Son might evoke too many memories of their own past for them to interpret it as anything other than cosmic child abuse.’

She then suggests how the cross and resurrection might be better presented as one of God’s solidarity and identification with shame: his shared experience of dying tortured, naked and ridiculed. He conquered all of that and so, like Him, we can find new life and identity.

Rebecca then gives some pastoral advise on how to support those struggling with shame.

My response?

Firstly, I should state I am no theologian. I know I love Jesus but I confess to finding the meaning and communication of the cross difficult. I’ve given numerous talks and written 2 Christian books, yet never discussed the meaning of the cross in them. However I’ve found the messages in this short book empowering and liberating both to me and my work. Suddenly, I find myself talking about both shame and Jesus’ resurrection conquering shame.

Perhaps most encouragingly, I’m observing that it is a message that seems to resonate and it seems to cut through with our tenants: In a recent talk 3 responded disclosing historys of abuse, in the one before that a lady stood up and, for the first time, shared her story of chronic domestic violence. That doesn’t normally happen after I speak!

So I’d encourage us to grapple intellectually and spiritually with this message. For me, at least, it feels Good News and, as all missionaries do, we need to understand the mindset of the culture we are ministering into and wisely preach the mystery of God and the cross into it.

[i] Genesis 2: 25